A Weekday in the Life of a Howard Kid

6 A.M.: Wake up. Call mother. Tell her that yes you had a good sleep, but you need help picking out clothes. Spend the next 5 minutes arguing with mom about what to wear, ignore her advice and end up wearing jeans from yesterday and your usual sweatshirt.

6:15 A.M.:  Begin going over notes from class yesterday that you took with your 6-color pen and 3 different highlighters. Your policy is to rewrite anything that seems interesting: you always rewrite everything. School rocks.

8:00 A.M: Well deserved breakfast break. Pancakes with no syrup (sugar makes us hyperactive), whole milk and some Frosted Flakes. College! No parents! Frosted Flakes!

9:00 A.M: First class is at 9:30, but we head over 30 minutes early to be absolutely positively goddamn sure that we get the middle seat in the front row. After all, everyone knows that sound diminishes (.001x^5) * 6.3% per 2 feet.

9:05-9:29 A.M: Other kids begin to show up. Avoid eye contact at all costs; pretend that you're pretending to look over the notes like everyone else, while in reality you are seriously reading your notes in preparation for a good class. Once your professor arrives, flash him/her an awkward smile and hustle to the front of the class.

9:31 A.M: That jock-looking kid with the Goliath arms and legs like tree trunks trundles in. Who does he think is, showing up this late to class?!

Definition of my childhood.

10:25 A.M: First class is over. You leave knowing that you took the best notes, learned the most, and will prevent any scaling from taking place for the rest of the class. Brings back memories of dominating video games as a child while the other kids did sports and outside activities and shit.You are the first to leave the room, sprinting with your rolling backpack in tow to be the first to your 10:30 class.




11:30 A.M: Second class ends. You leave in a daze; the rolling backpack let you down and you were the sixth one in the room. For the first time ever, you had to sit in the second row. Nothing made sense, you couldn't hear the teacher, and worst of all, you were distracted by the kid in front of you playing World of Warcraft. He was terrible. A female dwarf priest? Was he kidding? And he didn't even realize he was in shadow spec until his team wiped twice! Noob.

They're not even hot. 

11:45 A.M: Stephen Glansberg lunch in the back of Thorne (it's a Superbad reference...I don't really get it). Hamburger! Fries! COCA COLA! College! No parents!