In our motley crew, four of us do Falcon Friends every Friday. Falcon Friends is a great mentoring program run by Lindsey Horowitz and Samir Samirslastname. The idea is for elementary school kids to get exposed to kids in college as a way to get them thinking about higher education at an early age. The reality is 2 hours of jam-packed action in which being 5'6 means you're finally the tallest kid on the basketball court, and you can finally live the dream of being first pick in dodgeball.
Anyway, recess this week was a solid game of 3 on 3 basketball in which my team won 13-2 (my mentee scored 9 points, but I sweated 11 times more than anyone else…#WIN. Apparently height doesn't translate to athleticism, and neither does watching 90's basketball documentaries). Even though I wasn't dominant in the points department, I killed at both rebounds and at being tall -- you should have seen my shadow compared to theirs!
Moving along to the point of this story, my world was turned on its head at lunch. We went to sit at what I thought was the cool kids table, but apparently the cool kids table kept changing because whenever people sat next to my mentee, he insisted we switch tables. We finally stayed at a table when this cute little girl with pigtails and a lunch box with a flower on it sat next to him. Being completely ignorant to the intricacies of like-liking, I tried to engage him in an in-depth conversation of basketball strategies we could run this upcoming week. He kept trying to bring her into the conversation, but girls of any age are my Achilles heel (and Achilles shin, thigh, abdomen, head, etc), so eventually I just let them talk and I sat in silence with my plain strawberry jelly sandwich. Then it hit me.
HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!! HE'S 10 AND HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND I'M OLD AS FUH AND I CAN'T COMFORTABLY HOLD A CONVERSATION WITH A GIRL OF ANY AGE!
genius, pure genius.
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