12:00-12:30 P.M: Gotta get our naps in, because you KNOW we're running on that dymaxion sleep cycle to be able to study 20+ hours a day.
1:00 P.M: Reclaim throne in front of classroom. Answer every question before it leaves the lips of the Professor. Bask in the jealous stares that you can feel from everyone behind you. Or is that anger? Basic human interaction won't be on the midterm, no point in learning it.
2:25 P.M: Discuss the meaning of life with fellow Howardian on the way back to the outpost. It's nice to know that there are other people as dedicated to intellectuality as you are at this school. Exchange numbers, plan to meet up later to study.
2:30 P.M: Spend 30 minutes looking for funny pictures of cats. Save them in a folder on your desktop that has over 9000 images.
3:00-4:00 P.M: Run 10 man Naxxramas with your guild, get the Betrayer of Humanity. Day improves 70%, and you're fully ready to tackle your homework that's due in 3 weeks, because you did the more recent shit before school even started.
4:00-6:30 P.M: This is when us Howardians really shine. The athletes are out at practice or playing in games, and we take this time to get above and beyond in our studies. 2.5 hours to just pound out note cards, re-retake notes, chug Red Bulls, find cool new study spots, and just generally win at college. College! No parents! Studying!
6:30 P.M: Time to once again face our worst fears: finding a seat at Thorne. Luckily you've met up with one of your roommates, and you will definitely have someone to sit with. However, he's the guy that takes 10 minutes to make a salad and another 5 minutes to toast his damn panini. So you're stuck awkwardly following him around, getting in everyone's way, and just getting more and more embarrassed. Finally he's ready, and after a stop at the milk (for the bones) and coke (for the thrill) dispensers, you head to the tables on the left side of Thorne where the NARPs sit.
6:35 P.M: Dinner started out well, but it suddenly took a nose dive towards terrible. Instead of everyone wanting to hear about the epic Naxx run we did earlier, they just want to talk about sports. SPORTS?! THAT'S WHY WE LIVE IN HOWARD! They talk about baseball and the Red Sox troubles this year (baseball has started?!), and begin to talk about how people are getting traded. You are concerned about your favorite player, and ask, "What's going to happen to Nomar?" Never have you seen such judgement in a stare, especially from one of your own. You hang your head in shame and spend the rest of dinner building triglyceride models out of peas and carrot strips.
7:10-9:30 P.M: I know you're thinking "oh great time for another homework joke". Well let me tell you, you big hairy adrenaline fueled steroid taking gorilla, Howard kids do more than homework, video games, and eat. We're also in clubs and groups and other stuff. So HA!
9:45 PM: You return to your room, still unbeaten at ping-ping and ready to use this fact as a pick up line for the entire weekend (note: this means Saturday night only. Friday night is for the weekly review of major points from class). Surprisingly, girls at Bowdoin are far less impressed with your ping-ping skills; it seems as though going to a school that actually has varsity athletics makes unfunded club teams less of a big deal.
10:30 PM: Bedtime. Wet dreams? Hopefully.
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