Pancakes (Pancakes Morrison):
The most eligible bachelor of the gang. Tall, handsome, smart, scruffy, hates being touched. Unlike the rest of the Stoned Clown, he prefers playing frisbee to drinking frisbees. Constantly looking around corners, he spends his nights trying to avoid girls who want to share saliva with his hot lips. Don't let that stop you though ladies; you may be that one girl on his radar. Four days after shaving is when his scruff is in its prime. He is also VP of Ping-Ping club and has never been beaten at Bowdoin: if you think you can beat him, ping-ping club is at 8 A.M. on Tuesdays.
Sick Naba (Nick Saba):
A man with a plan and 30 ways to complain about it. Constantly strives to find an equilibrium between 17 labs and his bed time of 10:30. Incredibly, he also manages to fit running and brushing his leg hair in his schedule too, which (if you've seen his leg hair you'll agree) is a feat of mammoth proportions. Prefers jazz ensembles and crappy untalented rappers (Pitbull) to real musicians (Lil Wayne). Is the only other 3 time All-American in the crew, however he has won all three times (2 DMR's one 4x8). Tickle him in the right place and he'll scream "NO STOP STOP IT'S NOT FUNNY SERIOUSLY STOP!" but in reality you can keep on going cuz he'll be giggling hardcore.
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