OK OK I LIED ABOUT DOING IT ASAP BUT I DID IT EVENTUALLY DIDN'T I? DON'T HURT ME. (refresh your memory)
I had to do a lot of interviews for this, and then it's really hard to translate grunts into words, but I've done my best.
Thorne
Prime location for food and hook-up strategizing. Practice ends and (unless you're on the hockey team) you head straight to Thorne. You grab as many noms as possible then sit with the team. Make sure that any potential hook ups see you sit with your team, assuming you won that week, because then you won't have to make awkward conversation with them before the inevitable hook up. Average dinner varies between 45 minutes and 2 hours, the amount of reading you have doesn't matter because who the fuck does readings? Other things to be aware of:
The Quad
Great for a quick chay sesh with the bros. Or for our British viewers: Cor! Smashing for a slight bum around the old pitch in our knockers pip pip! And that gets rid of the British viewers.
Hawthorne and Longfellow Library
Unfortunately d3 athletes have to do their own homework, so this is where we go when we have to nerd it up. Luckily, Bowdoin's broads have figured this out as well and also often are there just waiting to get a glimpse of us. A good one-two punch in terms of locking down a hotty for the weekend is spitting some game at dinner then laying some pipe in the stacks after. In case anyone has a desire to bring back icing, it's all about the location and H&L would get you mad daps.
First Year Dorm (Hyde, Winthrop, Appleton, etc)
Back in the day you used to throw down the sickest pregames in your room and after the 30th run in with your proctor he'd just let it slide. As an upperclassmen, however, you're either taking down some of the fresh meat or more likely so black out drunk that you didn't remember that you don't live there anymore and your card won't let you in, no matter how many times you swipe. #firstworldproblems
Smith Union
I had to do a lot of interviews for this, and then it's really hard to translate grunts into words, but I've done my best.
Thorne
Prime location for food and hook-up strategizing. Practice ends and (unless you're on the hockey team) you head straight to Thorne. You grab as many noms as possible then sit with the team. Make sure that any potential hook ups see you sit with your team, assuming you won that week, because then you won't have to make awkward conversation with them before the inevitable hook up. Average dinner varies between 45 minutes and 2 hours, the amount of reading you have doesn't matter because who the fuck does readings? Other things to be aware of:
The Quad
Hawthorne and Longfellow Library
Unfortunately d3 athletes have to do their own homework, so this is where we go when we have to nerd it up. Luckily, Bowdoin's broads have figured this out as well and also often are there just waiting to get a glimpse of us. A good one-two punch in terms of locking down a hotty for the weekend is spitting some game at dinner then laying some pipe in the stacks after. In case anyone has a desire to bring back icing, it's all about the location and H&L would get you mad daps.
First Year Dorm (Hyde, Winthrop, Appleton, etc)
Back in the day you used to throw down the sickest pregames in your room and after the 30th run in with your proctor he'd just let it slide. As an upperclassmen, however, you're either taking down some of the fresh meat or more likely so black out drunk that you didn't remember that you don't live there anymore and your card won't let you in, no matter how many times you swipe. #firstworldproblems
Smith Union
Conveniently, the C-store is right next to Buck so protein bars can be pounded right after swole-ness has been achieved, maximizing muscle gain. Also my mom sends me cookies :)
Buck
Home from August 31 til May 20th. If you're not at practice, eating, slaying betches, pooping, or other doing other cool shit, then you're in the gym getting your swole on. Yea I fucking grunt when I get my swell on at the gym, cuz everyone should see how jacked and tan I am. What's cardio you ask? The fuck if I know. The only problem with Buck: the dumbbells only go to 60 pounds. Who do they think I am, Spongebob?
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| On second thought, not bad at all. |
Farley Field House
Where hell exists for every teams preseason. 300 meter time trials?! IN UNDER 60 SECONDS?! What are we, painfully mediocre high school distance runners? There's not a single weight machine in sight, and the dumbbells only go up to 20 pounds. What is this, a center for ANTS?!?!?
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| Close, but no cigar. Never a cigar. It'll decrease your aerobic capacity. |
Pickard Theater
Once a year, every year, our beloved Jeff Ward gathers the athletes of Bowdoin to review our athletic goals for the year and to congratulate last years performances. At the top of the list is always beat Colby and Bates at everything, blah blah easy. Then he goes on to say how great every team is and how this senior class is the best class yet, although he's gonna have to start lying after 2014. Trainer Dan gives his concussion spiel, and then it's one last night of drinking before classes start. Because then all the nights will be spent drinking while classes are in session, duh.
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